I'm The Mom.

(I wrote this over ten years ago. I just wanted to share it today.)

I once read a poem entitled "My Son, My Executioner" by Donald Hall.

The beautiful, startling words in the poem shine a light on our shared mortality. When we bring a child into being, we are once step closer to no longer being at all. Morbid, but true. 

Today, I have this to offer in response to that poem:

When you become a parent, the birth of your child takes away the illusion that you aren't completely responsible for yourself. You think, "If anything bad happens, Mom will help me."

Not anymore she won't. You're the mom now. The buck stops here and you carry the chapstick, the tissues, and the hard candy. You have inherited the stern eyebrows and you need to use them.

On good days, the great ME just is. I see the ego's thoughts without judgement and let them pass along. On bad days, I forget there is a great ME and the ego's fears drive the overwhelm.

But sometimes these philosophical truths don't translate.

Crap. I'm the matriarch.

I have to start saying wise stuff and wearing sensible clothing.

I need to uplevel immediately.

I need to know about mortgages and estate planning, and remember all the recipes. I need to document the family history and whisper the gritty details into my daughter's ear.

In reality, though, my future grandchildren will put on their Virtual Reality Visor or talk to a Google hologram to get facts.

What I really want to impart is grace, acceptance, joy, and inspiration. Those are hard-won qualities along with stillness, toughness, and tenderness. They are important in any person, any stage of life, and any era.

I get to step into my role now. 

With a full heart, I smile and think:

I'm the mom now.


  1. I love this. It's both scary and calming. I love being the mom sometimes - especially having magic powers. When my presence or my words or touch make everything better. That is just so cool. Other times it's just really strange being that one. And knowing issues people have with their moms and knowing now I am the mom... well that's a whole nother thing. Thanks for this. Loved reading and feeling it.

    1. Scary and calming is exactly right!

    2. Shared it on my FB page. Hope you got some traffic


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