We did it! Back to School!

In Kundalini Yoga there is an intensely beautiful meditation called Long Ek Ong Kars.

Ek is chanted powerfully and quickly drawing the navel point in.

Ong is chanted through the nose as a long, sustained vibration.

Kar is chanted through the mouth for an equally long time until the end of your breath.

The first time I practiced this meditation I was delighted by the feeling of my breath and heart opening up in the transition from "Ong" to "Kar".  It's difficult not to smile when chanting it.

Mirroring my spiritual journey with yoga and meditation, I recently decided that the scales had tipped in favor of sending my kids back to public school. We had spent a few years huddled up, learning who we were, and loving each other without distractions. That time was over.

We enrolled them, bought supplies, prepared them mentally, drilled multiplication facts, and said prayers.  And then we waited for several weeks.


Today I walked each of my kids to their classrooms for their first day of school -- no longer my students in homeschool, but still my beloved children -- knowing that they are loved and protected, but also confident to break out on their own. 


After I released my third child into her classroom, I found myself standing in the middle of the finite and the infinite on a single grain of sand, which is the only place for me.  I can only be myself.  I am I AM.

Perfectly vulnerable, but also powerfully protected.

Perfectly loving, and perfectly loved.

Inhale. Exhale. Move your feet, Sach Indra. It's time to go.

I met a good friend in the hallway as I walked back to the entrance alone.  She was sending 3 of her 4 kids to school today, too. We both had red, watery eyes and big smiles. 

I watched lots of other parents releasing the gifts that God gave them into the hands of people who will care for them in an equally important, but different way.  It was moving.

Parents brimmed with pride, snapped photos, and waved goodbye to giant backpacks waggling on the backs of little bodies.

When people ask me why we decided to make this change, it's hard to answer, but I know that I sent my kids back to school today with a renewed ability to accept imperfection, hurts, and changes that bring uncertainty.  

I also understand that I will remain the biggest influence in their lives if I choose to be.  Although my oldest will soon look to her peers more than me, I will be doing and loving and speaking in ways that model love for her.

The most exciting part is that "Ek Ong Kar" is only the first line of the Long Ek Ong Kars meditation.  There are more mantras to live and many repetitions.

Sat Nam.  Siri...   

Wahe Guru!

P.S.  A cool thing about the word "guru" or teacher:  In Gurmukhi it translates as "one who brings light to the darkness."  I think we should start calling school teachers "dispellers of darkness".


  1. I loved this!! Thanks for being my friend Rachel!

    1. Thank YOU! :) When I saw you yesterday it was such a comfort.


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