I am Crazy in Love - My Experience with Kundalini Yoga

Have you ever had the sense that if you could clear all the clutter out of your head for just a little while, you might have some peace?  When I've had this sense in this past, I have gone for a run, dived into an ice cold pool, or read an engrossing book.

Since I have a novelty-seeking personality, I am always looking for something to add to my repertoire of tools that cuts through the mental clutter.

I have recently completed a 40-day meditation in Kundalini Yoga.  It was strange and challenging and more rewarding than I'd hoped.  It added so much beauty to my life that I plan to keep practicing it.  If you haven't already read my post about being a few weeks into the meditation, you could start there.

It's a way of quieting one's mind enough to find answers within ourselves.  Want to know why you're holding on to anger?  Want to figure out what your purpose is?  Want to see the real you behind all the labels and masks?  Through meditation, we discover answers to these kinds of questions.  To me, that is enticing and empowering.

If we go with the idea that each of us is really a "thought body" and a soul, meditation can be a way for us to see beyond that thought body (also known as the running narrative in your head), to see, feel, hear, and make decisions from the real you--the one that stands in truth.

I'm not sure what I originally expected out of this experiment.  I was satisfying curiosity and adding to my ceaseless hunger for knowledge, but I am pleased with the results.

I found comfort in the precise structure and repetition of the meditation.  Although it was difficult to imagine setting aside the time at first, I love devoting 20 minutes or more to this practice every day.  It grounds me like nothing else.  I don't have to leave the house to meditate and my kids sometimes wander in to my space and just watch me or even join in.

Teaching kids how to speak the language of their spirits?  Bonus!

In meditation one focuses on the "third eye" point in the middle of the forehead. This mysterious practice will be the subject of an upcoming blog post.

When I introduced the idea to some other moms, they asked, "How does it work?"

For me, it started with wonderful instructional webinars and 7 minutes a day of what is called Kirtan Kriya - a specifically designed way of chanting a mantra (in this case the deconstruction of sounds in Sat Nam = Sa Ta Na Ma, or Birth, Life, Death, and Rebirth.)  I have come to think of it as a long beautiful prayer. 

Before I meditate I set the intention of being at one with God, shedding old falsehoods, and seeing truth.

I find after two months of daily practice, I can slip into a meditative, blissful state fairly easily.  At stoplights and washing dishes, I am chanting "Sat Nam" (translation of Ancient Sanskrit: "I am truth.") without it really feeling like chanting.  It's just playing in the background of my thoughts.

When I feel anxiety rising, I purposefully chant Sat Nam.  To me, this exposes the worrying, insecure narrator to reveal the me who is centered and able to handle things from a place of love and compassion.

I'm not saying it always works.  I mean, dog poop on the carpet for second time in a day? No amount of chanting is going to help that situation.  It is another tool I have added to my arsenal of therapies.

Since I'm still bipolar and imperfect and incurably curious, I constantly seek to learn and grow for the better.  My hope is that my kids have this example of an imperfect, but passionate and loving mother who tried her very hardest to live in joy.  I want to set the expectation that they can live in joy too.

Sat Nam

1 comment:

  1. I just love that this is working for you! Hooray for truth!


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