Looking Through a Different Lens

Someone close to me explained recently that she believed people only go to church when they need something.  

I believe in my case she was right.  Although, I haven't returned to church exactly, but to God.

When you lose someone you love, you start to wonder what your purpose is for being on earth -- what anyone’s purpose is for being here.  What was once a purely curious, intellectual question becomes an absolute necessity for carrying on.

Before my brother died suddenly in a work accident a few months ago, I had already begun investigating my spirituality.  For months before his death, I had been exploring the landscape of my heart again. 

I had begun to rely on the pure love and light that helped me see the beauty in life through depression, disappointments and regular ups and downs.  

After his death, it was love alone that carried me to his funeral.  I was held up by angels and guided through grief by Christ's promise that I wouldn't be alone.  I was broken apart, burnt up, and put back together.  

When I returned home to start living my ordinary life again, I was changed and couldn't continue on as I had before.  The love I had felt was going to be the center of everything.  I sought to connect with others who lived by this code of absolute love, acceptance, and compassion. 

Standing in truth and feeling certainty became very important to me.  If I didn’t have this purpose in life, I could not picture what would be left -- perhaps an unmoored body drifting from one year to the next further and further from her soul.

I wanted to magnify the truth and light that I had already seen.  I was addicted to remembering that I was, in fact, a spiritual being having an earthly experience.  

This is the seed of truth that bloomed in my heart:  We are not here alone to toil, muddle through, and die.   We are here to learn how to love and be loved.  That takes a lifetime to know.

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