Freeing Ourselves From Old Stories

If you have ever experienced a recurring nightmare, you can relate to reliving the same painful story over and over again, but the kind of stories I'm referring to are actually the ones we tell ourselves repeatedly and very quietly in the background.  They are our perspective on past triumphs or failures.

The negative stories we reinforce in our minds are usually the ones rooted in fear, shame, regret, and anger.  Without realizing it, many of us have carried these burdens for a long time.  We forget that we are not actually supposed to live like this.  We are supposed to be happy.  We are worthy of joy.

If you can pinpoint a particular story that has weighed you down and colored your decisions, you're probably ready to let that go.

The process of ridding your mind of these toxic false narratives is called many things.  I recently met with a woman who taught me about how she reads people's energy.  She helps them identify problems and clear the negativity holding them back.  Some refer to this as a chakra clearing.  Some call it meditation, praying or visualizing.

Regardless of the label people put on it, it's always a good idea to quiet your mind, pay attention to what's happening and figure out if there's something you are missing. 
Here is an example.  I know that in the past, I have often lost my temper when my kids are hovering around all talking at once.  If I purposely set my intention for the day, an interesting change occurs.  I can picture the peace I will feel as we have fun together and laugh.  I will imagine the relief and contentment of quiet time just for myself.  I approach the day with a vastly more positive attitude after reaffirming these goals.

After visualizing how I want my daily life to be and expecting joy, I am the calm center in my house and for the most part, everyone else mirrors that centered stillness.  Anxiety and frustration are much less likely to get the best of me.

There are times when things reach a fever pitch and I shout.  That is usually a sign that I'm not feeling heard. Fellow blogger Eilat Aviram said it perfectly in her post "Learning to Be Kind to Self".

We all know someone who isn't honest with themselves.  It's painful to see.  Sometimes that person is us.

A wise man once said, "One of the hardest things you can do is know yourself."  I take that to mean that even if we have all the evidence clearly laid before us, we sometimes choose to act out of self-preservation and continue telling the old untrue stories.  (Ex.  I am a mean mom who yells at her sweet kids way too much.)

In reality, I occasionally lose it and bark at my kids.  Instead of wallowing in guilt and shame (and pressing play on the mean mom story loop), now I take a breather.  I eat some chocolate.  I find them in a quiet space and give them a hug.  I apologize and say what I really meant: "You're not respecting me when I'm busy and you interrupt.  It's hard for me to listen when I'm already in the middle of something.  I want to really hear what you're saying.  I love you."

Any old stories you need to rewrite?  Leave me a comment and share your old and new stories.

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